Dear Elena
by trenzalore296
Summary: One shot. Set at the end of Season 2 when Damon is cured. It was all just a game, but what will happen when Elena finds something she was never supposed to see.


**Hello :) So believe it or not, I started writing this after watching the season 2 finale. Because of some confused mixture between writers block, GCSE exams, laziness and computer troubles, I am only just uploading this. I got this idea when I was writing a letter and I oh so randomly started writing as if I were Damon, writing to Elena. So read, I hope you enjoy and PLEASE review!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise. Let's be honest, I'm a teenager, I barely own anything! xD

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><p>Damon was okay. The sacrifice had happened, the bite had been cured and almost everyone had come out the other side<em>. Extreme<em> emphasis on the almost. Jenna had been sacrificed and had unwillingly left Jeremy and Elena as orphans once again. John had saved Elena from a terrible fate but he himself had paid the price. He had died to save Elena from immortality and left her without an uncle, without a father. It was strange that she had only just started to think of him like that but her loss had made her realise just how much she cared for her biological father. That had been happening quite a lot actually. Damon was bitten and she wanted to scream and cry and tell him how much she loved him but it was too late. She couldn't turn everyone's lives upside down again. So she held it in. She was actually quite proud of herself; only a few tears had escaped and she'd been able to tell him how much she cared without saying the words. One kiss did that for her.

And then Katherine had blown in with the cure. Klaus' blood. Elena had known her ancestor had seen the kiss and she was filled with rage and jealousy as Katherine had dealt with Damon so gently, acting almost as if she loved him and wanted to wipe away every trace of Elena from him. She understood the feelings inside of her then, even before that, but her love for Stefan and her need not to be Katherine had forced her to hide the feelings and bury them deep inside where no-one could find them. But Katherine had known. They had frozen for a few minutes after her confession and Katherine had disappeared.

Currently Damon was lay in his bed trying to regain his strength whilst Elena was busying herself playing nurse to him. Neither had said a word since Katerina had left and it was evident that neither planned to as Elena wordlessly passed Damon yet another blood bag. The tension was heightening and it was a long time before Damon finally broke the silence.

"Want to play a game?"

"No, Damon. You just almost died! You need to rebuild your strength."

"I won't need my strength for this game. Although, dying or not, I'd still beat you hands down in any kind of strength test."

"Fine. What's the game?"

"20 questions. But this time we play by my rules. 10 questions each and you_ have _to answer them all truthfully."

"5 questions each and you go first."

"Fine. 5 questions. If you could be anyone, who would you be?"

"Jane Austen. Or Charlotte Bronte. I would love to be able to write like they did. What is your favourite song of all time?"

"Ugh! Borrrring… Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode. What is your favourite childhood memory?"

"When I was 13, my mum turned up at school one day and pulled me, Care and Bonnie out and took us all to the mall. She had gone Liz and Grams and we each got $100 to spend on whatever I wanted. Caroline bought clothes and makeup. Bonnie got CD's and DVD's. I got this beautiful journal that was covered in blue silk and then I bought presents for my mum, dad and Jer. Then we went home and watched Gone With The Wind on the couch with ice-cream and chocolate and a quilt. I miss when life was that simple." Elena's eyes were swimming with emotion by now. She blinked a few times and cleared her throat before continuing. "My turn. When you were human, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

"I wanted to be an artist. My mother was a brilliant artist; she taught me how to draw and paint. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?"

"Well, Uncle John caught me and Matt in bed once. We weren't doing much, just making out. But it was really embarrassing. Now that I know he's my biological father it just seems worse. What one thing are you afraid of?

A few minutes later, after Damon had finished laughing he replied cockily, "I'm not afraid of _anything_, Elena."

"Don't be ridiculous, Damon. Everyone's afraid of something. Tell me." All traces of humour had left Damon's face now, and he answered seriously, "You, Elena. I'm afraid of _you_."

"I don't understand. How are you afraid of _me_?" Both of their voices had dropped to a whisper now, and Elena was more than confused.

"You have so much power over me, Elena, even more than she did. But you're worse than Katherine. You manage to hurt me like she did, worse even, because you don't even realise you're doing it. And it kills me."

His voice broke as he finished and Elena's heart shattered. How could she not realise what she did to him? Something she did realise, however, was that as Damon's cerulean eyes bored into her chocolate depths, they were moving their faces closer and closer, until their noses were almost touching. She would only have to move millimetres and she would be kissing those beautiful lips. Slowly, she moved her lips to meet his and just as they grazed, a loud buzzing noise interrupted the silence. Elena jumped back from the bed and turned as she answered her mobile phone.

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><p>After explaining to Bonnie and Jer for the fifth time that everything was fine, Elena finally hung up. She had long left the confines of Damon's bedroom and was successfully blocking any thoughts about what almost happened before the phone rang. Currently, Elena was sat on Stefan's bed, thinking about what they would do in the morning, when they started the search for him. She didn't even know what kind of man Stefan would be when they found him. She had only seen him on blood once, and he had quickly gotten better. Elena had a feeling things would be different this time around.<p>

Deciding it was time to go back to Damon's room and face the problem head on, Elena made her way out of her boyfriend's room.

"Fun call? Hey, you want to carry on where we finished?" Elena's eyes bulged at this, and a blush began to creep up. He couldn't possibly mean… "With the game, I mean." …of course not. Stupid, stupid Elena. Letting out a sigh of relief, she nodded her confirmation.

"Ok, I have a good one. Have you ever been arrested?" The mischievous glint in his eye brightened as Elena looked down in shame.

"No. Well, yes, but I wasn't even there for a full night! And it wasn't even my fault. Care was caught stealing and I was with her. It was nothing. Anyway, what is your favourite film? And I don't mean the one you tell other people. I mean the girly, romantic one that secretly makes you tear up."

"Fair enough. Moulin Rouge."

"Moulin Rouge? As in French prostitutes and plays and secret affairs? Figures. I think I've seen about ten minutes of that film." A horrified gasp left Damon's lips at this confession and he disappeared from sight. Less than ten seconds later he was back in front of her with a red DVD box in his lap.

"Okay, we are so watching this today!" Laughing at the absurdity of the situation, Elena replied, "Oh my God, you are such a _girl_!

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><p>By the end of the film, Elena was lay, curled up to Damon sobbing her heart out. Popcorn had fallen out its bowl and covered the floor and bed. Pieces stuck to their skin but Elena didn't care. Satine had just died and it was tragic and sad and she hoped to God that it wasn't based on a true story. If so, she could not feel worse for Satine and Christian. Thank God for modern medicine.<p>

She had expected Damon to laugh at her when she first started crying. He didn't. He just wiped away her tears. And sung to _every_ single song. It had come as a surprise to her that he was really good. Once Elena's tears had dried and the final credits and finished, Damon sat up and started clearing up. As he scooped the popcorn back into the bowl and took it to the kitchen, Elena began to look around.

Damon's room wasn't like Stefan's room. Stefan's room was filled with books and memories – Damon's had basic furniture and a few books but other than that it was bare. Determined to find some sort of memory in Damon's room, Elena started to roam in his draws. What she didn't expect to find was a thick, white envelope addressed to her. Careful not to rip it, Elena lifted the flap of the envelope and pulled out the stiff creamy paper.

_To Elena,_  
><em>If you're reading this then Stefan didn't find a cure and I've finally gotten the death I wanted 146 years ago. But I left you. People just keep on leaving you all alone and now I've done it too. So I have some things to say to you and it's going to sound soppy and pathetic and not at all like me but I have to say this to you.<em>  
><em>Thank you. For staying with me through everything and never giving up on me. Thank you for always forgiving me, no matter what I did. But most of all for believing I was worth saving all those months ago. I know that every time I was in trouble, like on Founder's Day, and at the Historical Society Volunteer Picnic, the others wouldn't have saved me unless you told them to.<em>

_But you always wanted me to be the better man, and I'm just not him. I'm a monster. I killed people and I hurt them. I did something else, Elena but I just can't bring myself to regret it. And I couldn't tell you before now because I was so afraid that you'd hate me forever and, honestly, I don't think I could live knowing you hated me. Suppose that doesn't matter anymore though, eh?_

_I compelled you. The night we saved you from Elijah and Rose, I brought you your necklace. I was trying to think of reasons not to tell you but I just couldn't help myself. You see, the reason I compelled you, why you can't know this, is because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life. But I just have to say it once more. You just need to hear it again. I love you Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. I don't deserve you but my brother does._

_Look after him for me. All these years I blamed him for turning me but no-one forced me to love her. He didn't do this, I did. It was all my fault. All the blood, all the murders and all the hurt. And my one greatest regret is that I never got to make it right. I promised Stefan an eternity of misery but the truth is, as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't. And I couldn't stand to be away from my best friend for long so I followed him. Always pretending to be indifferent. Coming to Mystic Falls was never just about getting Katherine back. I wanted my best friend back. And I got that. I love him so much Elena. Please make sure he knows that._

_I care about all of you; I'm not going to lie. And I need to thank you all for that because I don't think I remember a time before Mystic Falls where I really cared for that many people. You, Stefan, Alaric, Jenna, Liz, Barbie, Jer, heck I even care a little for Judgy and Kat. I need you to make sure they all know that because it's the only time they're going to hear it, even if I'd have made it out of this mess after all._

_You know, you should of met me in 1864, I think you would of liked me. I wasn't evil. I had trouble even killing a fly. Hell, I got into a thousand fights and I messed with a lot of girl's minds but before I died I couldn't have actually killed someone. I messed up so bad after that and truthfully; I only killed those people because I wanted someone to feel the pain that I felt. But you helped me feel human again, Elena. And for that I love you more than anyone has ever loved before._

_"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."_

_I wish I'd have known the last part. But what I do know is that it was always Stefan for you and Katherine and I know that when I made the choice to kill I lost my right to be loved. And that's ok._

_But I won't love you till the day I die Elena. Because the love I feel for you is so much more than that. That love has no expiry date._

The tears were flowing freely down Elena's face now and making messy spots on the stiff paper. She had thought that keeping her feelings for Damon hidden was the best thing to do but after their conversation earlier she hadn't been sure. This letter had just proven that she was wrong. She had been so stupid! How could she not realise that his love for her was this strong? That he had hurt so much because of the doppelgangers. She had known that she harboured some feeling for Damon but she couldn't let him know that. Not until she figured it out. Because she couldn't _love_ him, not when she loved Stefan. Not when it would kill him.

That was her last thought before Damon's voice rang through.

"Elena, were having pizza for tea. What do you want?" Seeing the tears drip steadily down Elena's face, Damon rushed to her side. "Elena? What's wrong?"

Elena shook her head and said, "Nothing, I'm fine."

"_Clearly_. Just tell me what's wr– " She had the feeling he knew exactly what was wrong because at that moment he had looked down and his eyes were now trained on the stiff paper in her shaking hands.

"Where did you find that?" It only took a few seconds before Damon's patience ran out and he had his strong hands on Elena's shoulders, shaking them roughly. "Answer me, Elena! Where did you get that?"

"I saw my name on the envelope, I had to read it. I just–" A sudden thought occurred to Elena and she blinked back the tears that were once again forming to look him in the eye. "We never finished our game. We still have a question each. I want to go first."

"Elena, this really isn't the time to be playing games."

"It wasn't the time before, when Stefan's out there with Klaus! Why not now?"

"Fine. What's your question Elena?"

"Do you really love me?" Damon was taken back, he obviously hadn't thought she would be so blunt but after a pregnant pause, he answered her honestly and sincerely.

"Yes Elena. I love you more than anything in the world." It was his turn now and Elena was sure of what his question would be. She wasn't too sure about her answer.

"Will you tell me how you really feel about me?" She saw the hesitation and uncertainty in his eyes and realised that he was insecure. She started to waffle.

"Well, I have Stefan and he loves me and I love him. I really do and it would break his heart if–"

"I asked you how you felt about me, not him."

"–if I finally admitted how much I love you."

As their lips crashed together, Elena wondered how something so wrong could feel so right. Damn the consequences, she loved him and she was finally ready to admit it.


End file.
